Stairway to Heaven

Where are you going tonight?

I could have sworn you'd be 

next to the wall, singing to Zepplin.

But it's just another bottle on the edge 

of the lake, maybe this time you'll 

take two steps too far.

Leaving me in a locked car with 

nothing but my troubled thoughts

to keep me company.

Just break me down if it makes you 

feel right, the fumes will knock my 

body limp soon enough.

We were caught up in the moment, 

just not in the right way.

Nonstop body movements shaking 

your old Camero, leaving me breathless, 

running away from good decisions.

Intoxication is the only comfort you

 can ever feel but we both know it's 

only gonna kill you once.

It's just the way you move to

bring me down to the grave.

Remember what our vows entrusted, 

till death do us part and life do us wrong.

Intoxication

Between the sorries and headaches

I bet you don't remember 

it always happened to me.

                                        You were never the first.

                                        Alcohol filled the lungs of every lonely 

                                        Saturday night, killing every late 

hour waiting for a minute of relief.

I never thought you'd turn

 into a monster I knew so well.

                                           You keep bringing me in with 

                                            every half smile, intoxicating 

                                            me beyond sobriety.

Drunk off every word that 

slipped between your zippered lips.

I'll be gone with the last 

                                             turn of your shoulder.

                                             Stumbling back to the way we

                                             started is never going surface.

Take comfort between your sheets.

You'll wake up and forget

 all of this even existed.

Less Than Perfect

The smell of you entangled in the fabric

can make me remember our lazy days.

We were close enough to be safe,

but far enough to miss the others breath.

We loved so tenderly

but fought so frequently.

Words were as scarring as 

salt in open wounds.

We kept our arms tangled together

with dreadful intentions.

Remembering the sound of your shaking voice

still shakes my bones like thunder.

The imprint of your fingers still grip

the curves of  my hips.

My questions were only empty thoughts about

what we could be.

We hardly had enough time to understand

the definition of together forever.

I suppose that's why we settled for 

less than perfect.

Hard to Love

I know I'm hard to love,
I don't make it easy.
My tendencies to wreck
walls never fail
to crumble
on
top of beautiful disasters. I took
too many decisions for granted,
ashamed for never letting
myself surrender. The
day you
were
introduced was a change written in
ink. You looked like a
thousand stars, trying to
find the right
thing to
say.
Can't you see what you've done
to me? Driving me up
the walls and caressing
down every curve.
I'm on
my
knees, begging please don't forget me.
Our nights never fail to
make me certain that
with you I'll
never regret
a
single movement. You're forever imprinted within
the boundaries of my heart.
That with you, I'll
never know the
meaning of
alone.

Talk is Cheap

It's always a single word.

A single breath.
A fluid whisper.
Caressing ears with their monotones.

Everybody talks with indulgeous
content. Fulfilling the craving of
gossiping tongues. In the corpse of
their commitment, they aim to make

you cry. Bring a knife to your chest,
holding your heart in their hands.
Impowerment to the weak. Destruction
of the strong. Feeling as if they're doing

nothing wrong. Wishing the intent could
bring you back to the person you used to
be. Irreversible decisions control
regretless minds. Yet, always curious

for the corrected memories.
Everything's a daze. Just admit you
aren't the same. Just a simple child
locked in a closet, seeking to be found.

Somewhere your thoughts can't get you
into any trouble. A prison of dark
intentions, yearning to be set free. To
spread their wings and escalate to a 

place somewhere beyond the horizon.
Somewhere only in our dreams.
Somewhere all you have to cry about
is scrapped knees instead of broken hearts.

Behind the Reflection

Pity those who live without love.
Those who read of happy endings and 
never believe in the words that dance inside their minds.
Those who need only see a light within the darkest of tunnels.
Who have desperate hearts longing for compassion beneath satin sheets.
Who are alone in an imaginary world where reality is simply behind a reflection.
Lies are turned into golden melodies and rain dances into the curves of their bodies.
They must see beneath the unknown fear behind the abstract realms of this world.
They need not to dwell on dreams but to remember to live without limitations.

Courtroom Innocence

                               Crimes against humanity.
                              Once count of displeasure.
                             Two counts of trusting.
                            Three for all breathes
                           taken from empty words.
                          Testify against the innocent.
                         It's the only way to feel power.
                        To win against what doesn't matter.
                       You'll be nothing but 12 little
                      voices in a crowded room.
                     They'll cut you down from the
                    hangmans noose a little to late.
                   You stole her heart and ran away,
                  a crime which can't be forgiven.
                 Crawling on your knees and
                pleading till the sun dies away
               will never be enough.
               You promised too many
              times with fingers crossed.
             Always saying giving up was
            never answer, yet you left
           her in the core of the storm.
          The court room is a last resort.
         Windows full of evergreens.
        Freedom just behind the exit sign.
       Do you remember her mangled torso?
      Tears drying down her cheek as her
     hand reached for the last touch of life?
    You kissed her bluing lips, running
   away from what you always feared;
  being loved for all the right reasons.

Deathly Affection

Misery loves me.
Crawling into bed to stay alive.
How did I go so wrong?

I had the world and let it
slip through my fingertips.
We used to talk for hours

but now it's over.
It was nothing but photography.
Flash, snap, memories.

Don't pretend I never cross your mind
We used to risk everything for a
chance between the sheets.

I took your dignity.
You kept my virginity.
I was blinded by the love in your eyes.

You kept messing with my head.
Truth is, liars turn me on.
Find another me.

I'm nothing but a widow
dressed in the night sky.
I gave you everything you ever wanted.

But this was for my satisfaction.
Kisses on the fingers I crossed,
imprint your iced lips.

But baby don't worry.
My sins are nothing
to dwell upon.

The knife in your back
was only half of me.
Now, I'm finally free.

Beautiful Imperfections

I'm never good enough 

for myself.

Mirrors lashing back with 

shards of every comparison.

Disfiguration.

I believe the lies 

I tell myself.

I can't hold onto this 

broken old soul.

You try and try to 

make me satisfied.

Just hand me the money. 

Let it be over.

Corners with flickering lights 

die away before 

the calm of morning.

Darkness falls across,

finding comfort in the backs 

of my eyelids.

A world of imagination.

You can love me 

just a little longer.

My reflection will 

finally smile, 

not under false
 impressions.

Pinch me.

It was all inside my head.

Cross the road to the other side.

I'll learn to breathe and 

call myself a human being.

Emotions come and go, 

but words stay hidden in 

the swells of my heart.

I'll forgive forever, 

but forgetting the torture 

will never wash over me.

This place is beautiful.

Just like me.

Confidence Soldier

     I'm just an old record 

         being played in reverse.

     You'll never understand 

         the pitch hitting your ears.

     Clear the room to dance 

        with the broken sound.

     I'm only a tumbleweed in

        your farthest thoughts, 

     passing by to save the time.

         Did you know the lights 

     die at midnight?

          Put your faith into the 

     scattered stars to bring

          you back to my heart.

     I'm always thinking about 

          the worst when everything

     is at its best.

          You told me to believe 

     and now I'm flying over 

          all my broken dreams.

     With your hand in mine, 

          I can finally release every mistake.

     Be patient, I can't control 

          the haunting thoughts in my head.

     I'll be a soldier, standing tall.

          Yessir, I'll improve.

     I'll be the best.

Far Away

I can't keep on running away,

from the mistakes that haunt us both.

I wish we could go back

and change the past.

But life would be all too easy

if that was the case.

I just want you to be that man again.

Tell me you'd go to hell and back

just to hold my hand.

Sometimes that four letter word

just causes too much damage.

Mend me up, hold me high.

Lean out a window for the

air that keeps us grounded.

Blow out the candles, watch the

fire spread over the velvet.

Everything will be gone in a flash,

just like our lost love.

The buildings burning too fast,

save yourself, leave me behind.

It's not worth the effort to

save me from your intentions.

You burned me long before

the flames touched my skin.

These Times

Until the dawn breaks

and the waves crash again the sand

is when I'll hold my breath when

it comes to saying I do.

It'll be another day to sing

about the magic that will be

you and me. I feel like I've

been locked up tight in a

place where sunshine only

visits when all is wrong. But

in your words, my darkness

breaks apart, showing me the

way into your arms. Your words

hit me like gravity pulling away,

bringing me into the right state of

mind, powerful and beautiful.

We've been in the same positions,

holding each other to the core, knowing

that this four letter word can

tear apart the strongest of people.

Let me fall into your world and have

time stop just for a minute. Let me

be the one, loving you when you're

weak. Slowing it down, holding still.

Take a step forward, I'll make sure you

don't step backwards. Hearts are

hard to mend, but I'll let time do

the dirty work. I'll be the one to keep

it in working condition. For as long

as you need, you'll find a friend

in me. I'm telling you these times

are hard but I promise they will pass.

Asthma Attack

Hustle, bustle.

Hold back. Strike.

Run away from yourself.

Quick, duck.

Granite hits hard.

Step one, break it back.

Step two, forget how to breath.

Step three, be yourself.

Give up the innocence.

Follow your dark hole.

Acid runs down your cheek.

Jump, crack, lava.

Follow me to the grave.

Your feet dance with grace.

Bipolar rain fall.

Sunny, thunder, twister.

Regret it all.

Realize the wrongs.

But don't forget.

Stand up. Be strong.

Hold yourself. 

Say you're sorry in the wind.

Apologies.

Step four, breathe.

Step Right Up

                                                                  Night blankets the
                                                   shimmering skies. Tents of red and gold
                                                               rise into the midnight air.
                                                 Spinning wheels of  colored sugar, strung
                                                               up upon swirled cones.
                                             Step right up, test your strength. Battle the odds,
                                                                 conquer your fears.
                                               Swallow fire, walk across the tightest rope.
                                                              Wonder the grounds to
                                             discover the mysteries hidden in the wind.
                                                             Fortune tellers have no
                                               crystal balls, only imagination for you to
                                                              hear what you need.
                                                To get you coming back to the cards
                                                       and believing the answers
                                             are just in your palms. But take a seat.
                                                             Sit back and relax.
                                            Watch as the red nosed creatures contort
                                                     themselves into the simpliest
                                           of dreams. Stumble over the trampolines
                                                       and shoot out of cannons.
                                       Risk it all just for a simple spot inthe moonlight

Untrusted Acquaintances

I'll save my tears for shallow rivers.

My precious breaths won't be
spent on second chances.

Untrusting acquaintances play
me like a broken record.
Scratching, gathering dust in a corner.

I'm standing on edge,

just give me the final push.
Let me fly off into the sky,

feel free for just a moment.
I don't want to be the
knot in the rope.

Being tugged,

roughened and growing weaker.
Let me have the satisfaction

of walking away.
You won't treat me like a stranger.
I'll pretend I'm just a shadow of the sun.

I won't crawl into the

cracks of desperation.
I'll throw away unneeded apologies.

You burned your last bridge.
You'll never walk into my dreams.

You'll miss out on the

purest of friendships.
It's all on your shoulders.

I tried, I tried.
You thought I'd
always come back.

I'm moving onto

greater memories,
miles away from the broken

soul that once was me.
Away from the person
you used to be.

Green Eyed Monsters

Green eyed monsters lurk in the midst of
our shadows, creeping in the corners of our desires.
Kiss my hand, hold my stare.
                                       Believe the melodies which my lips sing.
                                       I can hold you high and crumble you down.
                                       I never said loving me would be easy.
                                                          My imperfections make the lies more real.
                                                          The lines are blurred with foggy intentions.
                                                          Ring fingers turn black and blue
                                               from the bruises you slurred.
                                             I'm sorry baby, you wont win.
                                                 I'll soar into the clouds and
                                                           join my haloed enemies.
                                                           Regrets collect like pennies in
                                                           a fountain. But this I promise you,
                                         you'll never sink to the bottom.
                                         I will keep you zipped away,
                                         to be never to open again.
My regrets will never resurface
from the waves that erase
them from my memory.

Midnight Crashes

It's just one of those nights,
where all the back roads look the same.
Melodies singing in the mist of the horizon.

The sun kissing our skin like the first
time we rolled under the covers.
Circling the woods past the old

carved tree, wandering the broken roads.
I can't help but wonder where our thoughts went.
Hands tangled, rain shooting on the windshield.

Foolish moves behind the wheel.
Trees come out of nowhere.
Engraved in our shadows,

our initials lie next to our motionless figures.
Since when did the day become night?
All so silent and bare.

Once we seemed so perfect, as if floating on air.
Teenage sounds haunt our wildest dreams.
But, I suppose it's easy enough to read,

even the sun sets in paradise.

Teenage Vibrations

Teenage vibrations illuminate
             in the dead of silence.
Cars parked on the cliffs of our
           sleepless nights with

fogged up windows and
           lustful sounds.
Brakes only keep us
           grounded until we

decide to soar off the edge.
           Seat belts won't keep
us safe from the thoughts
           that kept us

tossing and turning. We always
          watched each others
eyes turn green at the sight of rivalry.
         Warfare was always a

whisper and a slur away. Guns would
          blaze, swords would swing.
Battlefields drenched in lost chances
           and shallow breaths.

Wishing for a change in the wind,
           a slight caress of hope.
One blink too many and it's over.
          Don't let me shiver,

 turn into ice. I'm not ready for this
         adventure to be over.
Her hand crushed my thoughts
         into despair. Hand me

down ideas only kill me just a little more.
         But it's over, the look in
our eyes before the final crash. I'll free fall
         into your arms just as

 the alarms rings in the midst of a fantasy.
           Dreams end but reality
               keeps on living.

Pinches

The wishes spent on pennies in fountains
and shooting stars are nothing
but forgotten dreams.

Run away from the haunted and
stay in a state of consciousness.
Face the demons behind the

shadows of your distant fears.
Climb walls entangled with
the poisonous of vines.

Deeply slumber away
 in a field of lilies,
and kiss the moon goodnight.

Heartaches vanish at the
thought of pure imagination.
Happy ever afters with

no reason for sadness.
In reality, all we do is live.
We wonder what the words

of our farthest away thoughts
bring to the equation.
Now, time can be funny in

dreams as well in the
actuality of our world.
One minute your painting sunsets

and the next your free falling.
Never knowing if it's for love or
just tripping down a black hole.

The pain is enough to
make you want to wake.
Just close your eyes and pinch.

It usually does the trick.

1.
2.
3.

Squeeze.

Awake from your cleverness and
hold onto the hallucinations
your mind fools you into seeing.

Prison Walls

I'm always a little too far away.
Yet, I feel so close to every mistake.
The sounds of sirens blaze in the dark distance.
Every vibration turns my heart to stone.
Trees shudder at the sound and cry tears of belonging.
They feel the sinking feeling with every leaf that falls.
Can we just breathe for a moment?
What's meant to be is only a figure of speech.
We can only hope it's just as easy.
I've been played with, but I'm no doll.
My feelings slurred into the thunder.
You don't know the half of the whole.
My darkest secrets remain chained to their prison walls.

Standing Tall

I'm sorry, did I stutter?
I'm perfectly fine leaving without saying goodbye.
No regrets, no looking back.

Missed you once, fool on me.
Missed you twice, should of known.
Missed you again, lessons learned.

I asked myself, how did I let it get so far?
Damn, I love the way you lie.
Crawling under stones,

reasons to stay away.
I'm not the life of the party.
Alcohol doesn't appeal.

Smoke rings don't hover above my head.
I look a little bit colder,
 but it's one deep breath out.

It's not the way it used to be.
High school left when the tassel switched sides.
My back is turned, I'm walking away.

Standing tall, flying high.
Shhh. Whisper no apologies.
I'm sailing into a land of eagles and crimson waves.

Cursed Tongues

I believed every lie you said.

The way your lips curled 

showing me emotions.

Trembling hands holding 

onto beating hearts.

Hold your breath, 

I'll leave this curse in your veins.

Can we just be 

broken once more?

Throw the pieces off the 

balcony, spread across the wind.

Ocean waves of mistreated 

thoughts crash against our skin.

Don't pretend my kiss

doesn't still haunt your lips.

Butterflies keep the hardest secrets.

We don't fight fair, 

but we lose like winners.

Am I close enough?

Can you feel the knife on your back?

Send us a sign from the afterlife.

Is it really what you wanted it to be?

Lost dreams with a splash of fury?

You'll never live this down.

You'll only be part one 

in a never ending plot of disaster.

Love Story

There's something about the
way you shine in the starlight.

A girl like me never had a
love so crazy. Patience was

such a torturous thing. But it was
worth the wait to have our

worlds collide so harmoniously.
Flickering candles holding our

hearts captive. Fireworks breathe
into the silent skies. Isn't it funny

how melodies sound like memories?
I hung from the edge of heaven,

watching for a miracle in the sand.
All the angels sang la la la la

Messages in a bottle,
he'll come when it's right.

Never knew it would be so soon.
Brighter night skies shine.

Tossing and turning came to a pause.
Turning this war into love.

This dream is hardly over.
I'll never wake up.

I swore I'd make you mine.
I'll never say goodbye.

Childhood

Let's fly away, to a place we can 

relive our adolescent imagination.

Use towels as our capes.

Coat hangers can double for hooks.

Teddy bear princes, cardboard crowns.

Mixing potions with colorful liquids.

Buried treasure between the cushions.

Castles constructed of blankets.

Decadent pastries made of the earth.

Imagination erupts into stars,

 flowing out of childish hearts.

To hold onto our youth.

Growing up doesn't mean forgetting.

It means reliving with our own little ones.

To step back into those cotton 

candy clouds and drink from the chocolate river.

Go on adventures in the closet, 

kill the monsters under their bed.

Remain forever young at heart

 no matter the wrinkles that arise on your cheeks.

Read of lost boys, 7 little men, poison apples

 and how two completely different people can fall in love.

Tell them anything is possible. 

For a plain pumpkin to turn into a carriage

.

To find love from a glass slipper.

No matter what someone looks like,

their heart can be pure gold.

Lessons from fairytales live forever.

Hope will always find a way.

Dreams can come true.

Just believe.

Aurora

Aurora

If I could levitate to the stars,
I'd dance with the diamonds and
live in the peachy rose heavens

just to stare down into your
unconsciousness. You're a beautiful
disaster, falling apart at the seams.

Thinking only of the worst when
the best is right in front of your eyes.
Your stubborn bones won't let you

see past the missing pieces. I'd let
the wind sweep into your room and
tell you it's the second star to the right.

Fly away to a land where you never have
to worry about growing up. Where heartache
goes away and your memory fades. The

world stops turning. There's an adventure
around every corner and under every wave.
Believe in what you were taught wasn't real.

Faith, trust and pixie dust. Clap your hands
and save a life. The birds sing a faded
love song, holding your heart hostage.

Tell the moon you know love is awake
and that you believe in what isn't seen.
Show your strength by holding high,

letting go of your foolish thoughts
of he will change. The sun will shine
brighter, making you glow with change.

Rainbows shoot out of precious waterfalls,
rushing over your skin, releasing you from
the inner demons that haunt your every move.

Let the weights be lifted from your shoulders.
Move on to another venture. Sometimes, it'll
feel too cold continue. But remember to walk

across the ice cautiously. With every crack
that forms is another reason to keep walking
forward.

Turquoise

Turquoise

Nature sounds of blowing

breezes and singing birds.

Mossy trees wave softly

to the bumbling bees.

Underneath the branches waits

a girl of elegance

with turquoise hair flowing

behind her ears like

a symphony. Her smile

makes the flower bloom

radiant hues. Her soft

spoken voice smiles to

the sun, making the

rays shine brighter. She

dances elegantly as if

she were flying, disappearing

into the trees to

spread her wings and

continue her warm love

for the scenery which

surrounded her. She is

a mystery which comes

and goes like night

and day. The sun

sets as she blends

into the forest to

wish her goodnight in

the blanketed darkness. Stars

sparkle just for a

glimpse of the beautiful

girl, in hopes someday

she'll grace them with

her precious lullabies and

sing them to sleep.

One Last Breath

One Last Breath

Give in to the slow

descent. Spin the bottle,

hold your breath and freeze.

I dare you to live. To jump

into a crowded place where

every sigh of hope is suffocated.

Kill the monsters in your closest,

fall in once more. Give in to the

temptations. The lust which pumps

your heart and turns your blood

warm. Eat sweet treats before the

meal. Close your longing wishes

you never try to pursue. Swallow

your pride and listen to gravity

whisper secrets of pure vanity.

Smash the looking glass,

cry at the sounds of desperation,

scare yourself into the unknown,

turn off the lights and isolate

yourself in total darkness.

One, two, three.

Breath.
In Roulette, you play for keeps.

No time to think.

Just pull the trigger.

Execution

Execution

           The sunrise was blood red as the executioner tightened the noose on the wooden frame. His smile was like death, haunting the poor man that would soon be hanging from above. 12 hours till the unfaithful moment of his last breath. The crime he had committed wasn't worth the pain of sitting in a prison cell with two sweaty buff men. He had waited years for this day to come, to eat his last meal and get cobblestones thrown at him on his way to the The Hanging Tree. What would become of him on the other side? Would he have to stare at the face of his mother-in-law for all eternity? Or would the fact he had saved a women back when he was just a lad be enough to keep him from the fiery gates of hell?

          The cannons from the pirate ships rang out. It was almost noon. “Time for your last meal, you piece of shit.” His food was slid under his cell. A glass of lemonade and a peanut butter sandwhich. He laughed as he crawled into the corner of the room, he took a bite and looked out the window. The villagers were collecting their stones while the town's idiot was undressing. Thankfully, people threw the extra stones at him, knocking him unconscious. Two robbers stole his shoes and ran off as if nothing had even happened. The poor idiot just laid there, blood trickling down to his fingernails, puddling around his still body.

          The clock rang noon and the jailer told him it was time. He took three slow breaths before getting his shackles on. He looked at the jailer and laughed. “Whats so funny scumbag?” He looked at him closely. The mans cheeks were swelling and he has a red rash on his face. “I guess you guys didn't check the records. I'm allergic to peanuts.” The jailer eyed him down and whispered, “Clever son-of-a-bitch.” The man fell to the ground, shaking and growing in size. He waited for the moment his heart stopped beating. He closed his eyes and thought of his little girl. He killed the man that killed her and now he gets to see her again. He smiled and choked out the words, “Peanut butter really isn't that bad. Here I come Lucy darling.” His body stopped moving and he went still.

(One of the stranger stories I've written. We had a prompt to use 12 words in a story and well, it isn't one of my favorites but it has potential.)

Crumpled

Crumpled

Once you crumple paper

it'll never be the same.

The little ball of

wrinkles becomes weaker

and unattractive. No matter

how hard you try to return

it to it's original state,

it will always be indifferent.

Just like trust.

It starts out as

a crisp piece of paper.

Brand new and fragile.

But with the slightest

action, it can be

compromised. With every

wrinkle imbedded comes a

reason of distrust and a

reason to let someone go.

Yet, you still try to iron

them out, with every swipe

of your hand is a sign of

hope. To restore what has

been lost. You can forgive in

order to keep someone in your

life but forgetting will never

be an option. It will always be

weighed down on your shoulders.

Making you curious as to

if people are telling you the

truth. Making you wonder if

they are keeping secrets. Now

secrets are a poison that doesn't

kill, they can keep your conscience

unsteady, your mind racing and

hurt the ones who mean the most.

But that isn't the most dangerous
northe hardest to live through.

Putting on a fake smile and

holding back your tears.

Having your mind constantly

going back to the lies.

That's what we need to

learn how to deal with.

We need to learn how to

take a deep breath,

clutch that crumpled paper

and toss it behind your shoulder.

To keep your head high

and walk away.

Coffee House Angst

        Nobody really understands what it's like to work at a coffee shop. The customers are incredibly rude without their morning fix of caffeine. Sometimes I feel like they are just the devil looking to cause us pain and look forward to us messing up in order to get their coffee for free.

        But I still get here early in the morning, quickly wash down the tables and switch the sign to open. The morning rush is always the most stressful. Customers are rushing to get to work and school which means they have no patience. I find this hilarious since they tell us to rush when they make their order so complicated. Just like this morning, a young gentleman stepped up and I put on my fake smile.

        “Hello welcome to Starbucks, what may I get for you this morning?” His eyes darted around the menu and he spoke fast. “Hi can I have a grande caffe mocha, no sugar, extra whipped cream, extra dry, with half skim, half full milk.”

        I just stared at him. If you think about it, that's just 2%. So I asked if he wanted to change his milk choice. He shook his head angrily and said “No, I just want a mixture of both. Oh and I want a caramel drizzle on the bottom of the cup, half way full and a little on top. Plus, raspberry syrup mixed in with the milk. Then the coffee. Thank you.” He stared me right in the eyes and smiled.

        I wanted to punch the smile right off of his face. Seriously, I'm not a robot. You don't need to make a cup of coffee a chemistry experiment. I'd like to see you do this and do it perfectly. God knows if I forget to put that damn caramel in the middle of your drink I'll burst into flames and burn forever because your drink which will be gone in a matter of minutes isn't perfect.

        I try my best to put on a another fake smile and sound thrilled to make this cup of nonsense. “Please write your name on your cup.” He sloppily writes and hands it back. He chuckles as he walks to a table. “Mike Hawk.” My head twitches to the side. Are you serious? You need to see me humiliate myself even more? Everything you do makes me want to put Visine eye drops in your cup, causing you to run to the bathroom every 5 minutes. But I'm better then that. I don't need to get fired from here. I'm a junior in college and this is the only job I can get with my hours.

       Now trust me, I'm trying to get a new job. As soon as I find anything better then this, I'm booking it. I hate when people tell me if you hate it so much, why work there? We are in a recession, it's difficult finding a new job that will pay well and give me flexible hours. The economy and unemployment rate are the worst they have been in decades. Google it if you don't believe me. I worry that this is where I will be when I graduate. I won't be one of the lucky ones who live with mommy and daddy or have my uncle give me a job at the office.

I've also been told, “Oh geez. Your job is so easy. Stop complaining. You get to make coffee all day.” THIS is when I have to control myself and not strangle the poor human. I'd love to trade places with you for a week. Just one week and you will understand the misery the customers unfold upon me.  

        There are seven steps to being a barista. Step one, you get hired. You're excited since you finally got a job. Step two, you love the work. Soon all the regulars know your name and you are getting the hang of things. Step three, you dream of getting promoted. You're doing so well and your speedy when it comes to the orders. Step four, you get setback. Either a costumer complains or you fight with a coworker. This is when you start to question your love for coffee making. Step five, you realize the job isn't what it used to be. You are just a coffee maker. Step six, you begin your downward spiral. Some days it's difficult waking up and knowing what awaits you in this torture chamber. Sadness and anger begin to bubble inside. Step seven, which I have not yet reached, is your curtain call. You get a better job and get the hell out of this craptacular dungeon.

        Now, as for my current customer I just breathe in and out. He isn't worth my anger. I pour into a pitcher the half skim milk and half regular. I mix in the raspberry syrup before drizzling caramel on the bottom of his cup, I pour in his milk mixture and pour a little coffee, drizzle some more caramel, fill up the rest and drizzle one more time. I put two huge scoops of whipped cream on top before yelling out, “COFFEE FOR MIKE HAWK!” Everyone chucked as he stepped up to get his coffee. He put a dollar in the tip jar and walked away.

        I fantasied about pouring his coffee down his pants, watching him dance as it burned him. I giggled as a bleach blonde 20 year old steps up with a dog barking from her purse. Before I could say anything she cheerfully said, “Hello! Can I have a half-caff half-fat soy latte grande with peppermint syrup, extra wet and a blueberry strawberry parfait hold the blueberries. Thanks!” I sighed and rolled my eyes. Here we go again.

Part One: Sharp Fear

Sharp Fear

        He cleaned me with bleach and slid me back into his belt loop. It scared me to be in this crazy mans hands. This isn't what I was designed for. I was meant to be in a five star Restaurant’s kitchen, crying at onions and julienne purple potatoes.

        She was so beautiful. Her hair went down to her waist, sparkling as the wind pushed it behind her ear. Her eyes were a deep green, that you could lay in for hours. Her scream was high pitched as I slid over her stomach. His hands were shaking and I hoped that he would just drop me.

        I could make myself shatter, but he kept his grip. Her eyes began to roll back into her head as he spit on her. I heard her last breath and a soft whisper “I love you Codes.” before she became stiff. She wanted her last words to mean something, even though nobody would know them. I watched her rosy cheeks lose their color and her lips turn blue. The fear on her face was frozen in time and there was nothing I could do about it.

Part Two: Dreadful Findings

Dreadful Findings

        She looked perfect, even in death. I held her hand softly. But I hated how cold she was. I felt like I was holding a block of ice. I kept kissing her, hoping it could be like Snow White. I hoped her eyes would flutter open and we would live happily ever after.

        She was my muse, my best friend. She made me believe that I was finally worth something to someone. I quit doing drugs because she thought it was a nasty habit. She turned my life completely around. I did everything I could to make sure she was always happy.

        When she went missing, I went crazy. I left thousands of messages on her phone, just to hear her voice again. I wanted to scream, but nothing would take away the emptiness I felt.

        I knew she was dead right before my phone rang to tell me the dreadful news. I felt my heart break and tears instantly formed in my eyes. I lost the one thing that ever made me feel complete.

        Now I stand here, kissing her icy blue lips for the last time. I couldn't believe that this was the end. I walked away sobbing as they lowered her into the earth. My eyes were glossy and I didn't pay attention to where I was going. I never knew what hit me. But I woke up and she was waiting for me. Her hand was outstretched, pulling me to my feet. The sunset glistened and smiled at us. Heaven never looked so beautiful and my angel never felt more mine.  

Part Three: Falling Under

Falling Under

        Everything was dark and damp. The cerement floor had me shaking violently. I wished I was back in my bed, watching a hopeless romance movie and cuddling up with him. Instead, I have to lay here and wonder if I will ever make it home alive.

        I hoped that he would never come back. Just keep me breathing a little longer. I guess he just lost it and grabbed the first person he saw. I was just walking down the street and felt a prick in my side. Next thing I knew I was in this room, tied up and my clothes were shredded. I didn't know what I did to deserve this.

        My breathing was speeding up. I knew he was coming, I could hear his footsteps echoing in the hallway. The door creaked open and I curled into a ball in the corner. He laughed deeply and stared at me.

As he walked to me, he whispered “You're beautiful. You know that?”

        I felt disgusted. I crawled in my skin and spit at him. His eyes widened and he took out a kitchen knife from his belt. I began to pray. I was never the religious type but I prayed whatever I could remember from my mother. I felt the sting on my stomach, my breathing started to get shallow. I felt my heart beat slow down. I watched the river of blood flow around my feet. I was cold. I slowly closed my eyes, imagined his face and whispered “I love you Codes.” right before my body stiffened. Heaven is so bright even when death was so dark.

North Franklin Street

Blue

       The house was as brown as a paper bag, while the other houses looked like candy land. Bright yellows and greens filled the hill. The house was old, around 150 years. The shindles were falling off of the roof and the carpets were ripping. The little blonde girl zoomed around the tiny yard on her batman tricycle. She'd pour water into the ground and make pies and castles out of the sticky dirt.

       Years later, her mother would have her pick the color of the house. A medium blue which would begin to peel after a few years. She'd make snowmen and drive a car into the yard. The roof would be black and metal. She'd start getting ready for college and on the day she leaves, she'll walk around the old house. Remembering all the memories, let a few tears fall and smile. It's time to move on. That old house would always be her home.

Rickity Fence

      She had an old rickety fence that separated the road from the house. The little girl had gotten a soccer ball that had a net attached with a Velcro hoop. She attached it to the fence and started to kick it around. Her giggles filled the air when the ball became unattached as she was kicking. Her cries rang out as she fell onto her back, her left hand trying to keep her steady.

       Her mother ran out and brought her inside. She cleaned up any open wounds but looked at her hand. Her pinky was swollen and looked crooked. X-rays would show it was broken and she would need to have it attached with tape the the finger beside it for a month. After wards, she wouldn't be able to keep the finger against the other. But she would find that it's unique, just like her.

Rocky Road

       The gray of the pavement will be with her when she looks in the yearbook. Every single crack and dent in the side of the road. Bumps that were created throughout the years. Bumps that she knew by heart when the car went up and down the hill. She knew which bumps would send her flying on the school bus. This year, the road was torn apart and smooth asphalt was poured in. All the bumps she grew up with were gone. But they are trapped forever in her senior picture.

River Journeys

        When she was little, her and her friends walked down to the river behind the old house. They tredded in the water and picked out silvery muscles. They took so many into a backpack and cleaned them. Fascinated by the color, they each opened them and watched the sandy water pour out. The girl remembers small memories, even like this when she grew up. Something as simple a cleaning muscles.

Absurdist Script

Vaughn: How long as he been running into that wall?

Zebediah: I don't know. 5 hours?

Vaughn: Should we do something?

Zebediah: Maybe... Possibly... Nah...

Vaughn: He must be doing it for a reason

Zebediah: Should we ask him?

Vaughn: No.

Zebediah: Why not? He might need help. I mean look at him. He is all bloody and bruised.

Vaughn: Maybe we should.

Zebediah: Hello my good man! Why are you running into the wall?

Man stops and talks to the men.

Man: I don't see why I shouldn't be. I have nothing else to do.

Zebediah: Aren't you in pain? You are bleeding.

Man looks at himself and back to the men)

Man: I feel no pain.

Man continues to run into the wall.

Vaughn: Do you think he is trying to get to the other side?

Zebediah: No.

Vaughn: How do you know?

Zebediah: Because there is no other side, just the side you can see.

Vaughn: So there is no hope for the man?

Zebediah: He can continue running into that wall all his life. Nothing will stop him.

Vaughn: Ah, but then again, we don't know for sure why he is running into the wall.

Zebediah: He said he doesn't know why he shouldn't, so maybe we should?

Vaughn: No, because we have common sense. We know it would hurt if we ran into the said wall.

Zebediah: We don't know that for sure.

Vaughn: If I were to punch you, do you think it would hurt?

Zebediah: I have no idea. It is possible to assume that it would but today could be the day that nothing hurts anybody which could be why the man is feeling no pain.

Vaughn: Or maybe the man is feeling pain but its the type of pain that is trapped inside. And the only way to deal with the pain is to inflict more pain on himself so he can't feel the pain which is ensnared inside of him.

Zebediah: Ah that is a good idea. I applaud you my friend. But that reminds me of something I've been thinking about.

Vaughn: Oh? And that is...?

Zebediah: Pickles.

Vaughn: Pickles?

Zebediah: Exactly. They are just cucumbers soaked in evil.

Vaughn: I don't understand how that relates to pain.

Zebediah: Once the cucumber is soaked into the evil, it's no longer a cucumber. It's a acne filled pickle. It's completely different. I mean I love cucumbers but hate pickles. But they are one in the same.

Vaughn: I'm still not following.

Zebediah: Never mind. Only extraordinary minds understand my logic.

Vaughn: Or only idiots understand your stupidity.

Zebediah: I really hope you get a paper cut.

Vaughn: Paper cuts aren't bad.

Zebediah: But once you get the paper cut I will pour pure lemon juice on it.

Vaughn: That is cruel. I dislike you.

Man stops running and turns to the two men.

Man: That is a good idea. Maybe I will try that sometime. It sounds quite exhilarating!

Vaughn: I worry about you sir.

Zebediah: He likes physical pain.

Man: I'd rather have physical pain then emotional or mental pain.

Zebediah: Why don't you just kill yourself sir?

Man: Because I enjoy living most of the time. But living does involve a lot of pain, eh? Some people are just so cruel.

Zebediah: So wait. You enjoy living, even though, living has caused you a lot of pain?

Man: (take a moment to reply) Yes.

Zebediah: But why run into the wall?

Man: Because it gives me a better kind of pain. I'd rather feel my own pain that I inflict physically onto myself then get venomous words thrown at me. So I take my anger out on this wall.

Vaughn: But I mean look at what you are doing.. What was once a lovely white wall with some pretty dainty looking pink flowers now looks like part of Sweeney Todd's shop.

Man: I do not care. This is not my wall.

Man begins running back into the wall again.

Zebediah: Vaughn, may I have a word with you?

The two of them step away from the man.

Vaughn: Yes?

Zebediah: I think this man is crazy.

Vaughn: I think you are crazy but I don't see you running into the wall.

Zebediah: Aren't we all crazy in some sort of way?

Vaughn: I suppose so with the exception of myself. I am completely sane.

Zebediah: HA! HAHA! HAHAHA! You jokester! You are one of the craziest people I know.

Vaughn: And you are the biggest nincompoop I have ever met.

Zebediah: (Very giddy) Thank you. As long as I'm your nincompoop, I am full of joy.

Vaughn: You are such a sassy man. But don't worry. I enjoy your sassyness. It entertains me.

Zebediah: Your mother entertains me.

Vaughn: Your face entertains me.

(Zebediah looks fakely shocked)

Vaughn: It's true. Except for that huge pimple on your nose. That is utterly disgusting.

Zebediah: Well have you looked in a mirror? (Zebediah points at Vaughn's entire face) THAT is just disgusting.

(Vaughn pulls out a mirror and looks at himself)

Vaughn: What? There is nothing on my face.

Zebediah: Exactly.

(Zebediah looks at the man running into the wall)

Zebediah: (Laughing uncontrollably) Hahaha. Look it's a man running into a wall. Hahaha. That's quite entertaining. Hahaha.

(Vaughn looks at Zebediah, shakes his head and walks away leaving Zebediah laughing at the man)

Bandersnatch

Bandersnatch
Emily Holmes

1.
I remember the shadows
stretching over the oak tree.
As I tried to climb to the top
the hooded figure hit me like a rock.

2.
My world stopped spinning.
He held my hand,
as I shook violently from the ice in his soul.

3.
Immortality take a toll on the soul.
Pay $6.66 at the door.
Don’t get burned at the handle,
take a left at the skeleton room.
Welcome to Heaven.

4.
As the golden ring,
hovers over your head,
can you feel yourself evolving?
Let the horns sprout onto your scalp.

5.
Hold yourself back
don’t let your body shake.
Control the animal inside.

6.
It’s a war between good and evil.
Love and hate.
Your spirit and your reflection.

7.
Hold it. Step back.
Look down to your icing body.
Cry toxic tears onto your heart.
Back up. Slow down.
Blink numerously. Kick and scream.

8.
Leave your dark cavern.
Welcome to life.
Happy birthday.

Autumn in Vermont

Falling Autumn
Emily-Amber Holmes

The warmth disappears from my skin.
When others step into their uggs,
I let my feet brace the cold
in their semi-naked shoe's.

The rainbows in the trees fall,
like teardrops from a newborn fawn.
Zombies and vampires come alive,
begging strangers for their brains and blood.

Pumpkins in the roads,
spiced with rotten eggs.
Candy wrappers teeter-totering in the breeze.

Now the days come and go.
Drinking warm cider,
all snuggled into a backwards robe
waiting for the turkey and stuffing to foxtrot into the airways.

The arctic tone skates up my spine,
once the wonderland hits.
I miss the 50 degrees of fall.
I miss the bright yellows and crisp oranges.
I miss the open toed shoes.

Even though you're my third favorite,
you still make me miss all the wonderful things.
The day I step into the blinding white hills,
is the day I miss the browning green grass.

The smell of the last mowed lawn.

I count back the days,
from when I saw you last.