Intoxication

Between the sorries and headaches

I bet you don't remember 

it always happened to me.

                                        You were never the first.

                                        Alcohol filled the lungs of every lonely 

                                        Saturday night, killing every late 

hour waiting for a minute of relief.

I never thought you'd turn

 into a monster I knew so well.

                                           You keep bringing me in with 

                                            every half smile, intoxicating 

                                            me beyond sobriety.

Drunk off every word that 

slipped between your zippered lips.

I'll be gone with the last 

                                             turn of your shoulder.

                                             Stumbling back to the way we

                                             started is never going surface.

Take comfort between your sheets.

You'll wake up and forget

 all of this even existed.

Less Than Perfect

The smell of you entangled in the fabric

can make me remember our lazy days.

We were close enough to be safe,

but far enough to miss the others breath.

We loved so tenderly

but fought so frequently.

Words were as scarring as 

salt in open wounds.

We kept our arms tangled together

with dreadful intentions.

Remembering the sound of your shaking voice

still shakes my bones like thunder.

The imprint of your fingers still grip

the curves of  my hips.

My questions were only empty thoughts about

what we could be.

We hardly had enough time to understand

the definition of together forever.

I suppose that's why we settled for 

less than perfect.

Hard to Love

I know I'm hard to love,
I don't make it easy.
My tendencies to wreck
walls never fail
to crumble
on
top of beautiful disasters. I took
too many decisions for granted,
ashamed for never letting
myself surrender. The
day you
were
introduced was a change written in
ink. You looked like a
thousand stars, trying to
find the right
thing to
say.
Can't you see what you've done
to me? Driving me up
the walls and caressing
down every curve.
I'm on
my
knees, begging please don't forget me.
Our nights never fail to
make me certain that
with you I'll
never regret
a
single movement. You're forever imprinted within
the boundaries of my heart.
That with you, I'll
never know the
meaning of
alone.

Talk is Cheap

It's always a single word.

A single breath.
A fluid whisper.
Caressing ears with their monotones.

Everybody talks with indulgeous
content. Fulfilling the craving of
gossiping tongues. In the corpse of
their commitment, they aim to make

you cry. Bring a knife to your chest,
holding your heart in their hands.
Impowerment to the weak. Destruction
of the strong. Feeling as if they're doing

nothing wrong. Wishing the intent could
bring you back to the person you used to
be. Irreversible decisions control
regretless minds. Yet, always curious

for the corrected memories.
Everything's a daze. Just admit you
aren't the same. Just a simple child
locked in a closet, seeking to be found.

Somewhere your thoughts can't get you
into any trouble. A prison of dark
intentions, yearning to be set free. To
spread their wings and escalate to a 

place somewhere beyond the horizon.
Somewhere only in our dreams.
Somewhere all you have to cry about
is scrapped knees instead of broken hearts.

Behind the Reflection

Pity those who live without love.
Those who read of happy endings and 
never believe in the words that dance inside their minds.
Those who need only see a light within the darkest of tunnels.
Who have desperate hearts longing for compassion beneath satin sheets.
Who are alone in an imaginary world where reality is simply behind a reflection.
Lies are turned into golden melodies and rain dances into the curves of their bodies.
They must see beneath the unknown fear behind the abstract realms of this world.
They need not to dwell on dreams but to remember to live without limitations.

Courtroom Innocence

                               Crimes against humanity.
                              Once count of displeasure.
                             Two counts of trusting.
                            Three for all breathes
                           taken from empty words.
                          Testify against the innocent.
                         It's the only way to feel power.
                        To win against what doesn't matter.
                       You'll be nothing but 12 little
                      voices in a crowded room.
                     They'll cut you down from the
                    hangmans noose a little to late.
                   You stole her heart and ran away,
                  a crime which can't be forgiven.
                 Crawling on your knees and
                pleading till the sun dies away
               will never be enough.
               You promised too many
              times with fingers crossed.
             Always saying giving up was
            never answer, yet you left
           her in the core of the storm.
          The court room is a last resort.
         Windows full of evergreens.
        Freedom just behind the exit sign.
       Do you remember her mangled torso?
      Tears drying down her cheek as her
     hand reached for the last touch of life?
    You kissed her bluing lips, running
   away from what you always feared;
  being loved for all the right reasons.

Deathly Affection

Misery loves me.
Crawling into bed to stay alive.
How did I go so wrong?

I had the world and let it
slip through my fingertips.
We used to talk for hours

but now it's over.
It was nothing but photography.
Flash, snap, memories.

Don't pretend I never cross your mind
We used to risk everything for a
chance between the sheets.

I took your dignity.
You kept my virginity.
I was blinded by the love in your eyes.

You kept messing with my head.
Truth is, liars turn me on.
Find another me.

I'm nothing but a widow
dressed in the night sky.
I gave you everything you ever wanted.

But this was for my satisfaction.
Kisses on the fingers I crossed,
imprint your iced lips.

But baby don't worry.
My sins are nothing
to dwell upon.

The knife in your back
was only half of me.
Now, I'm finally free.

Beautiful Imperfections

I'm never good enough 

for myself.

Mirrors lashing back with 

shards of every comparison.

Disfiguration.

I believe the lies 

I tell myself.

I can't hold onto this 

broken old soul.

You try and try to 

make me satisfied.

Just hand me the money. 

Let it be over.

Corners with flickering lights 

die away before 

the calm of morning.

Darkness falls across,

finding comfort in the backs 

of my eyelids.

A world of imagination.

You can love me 

just a little longer.

My reflection will 

finally smile, 

not under false
 impressions.

Pinch me.

It was all inside my head.

Cross the road to the other side.

I'll learn to breathe and 

call myself a human being.

Emotions come and go, 

but words stay hidden in 

the swells of my heart.

I'll forgive forever, 

but forgetting the torture 

will never wash over me.

This place is beautiful.

Just like me.

Confidence Soldier

     I'm just an old record 

         being played in reverse.

     You'll never understand 

         the pitch hitting your ears.

     Clear the room to dance 

        with the broken sound.

     I'm only a tumbleweed in

        your farthest thoughts, 

     passing by to save the time.

         Did you know the lights 

     die at midnight?

          Put your faith into the 

     scattered stars to bring

          you back to my heart.

     I'm always thinking about 

          the worst when everything

     is at its best.

          You told me to believe 

     and now I'm flying over 

          all my broken dreams.

     With your hand in mine, 

          I can finally release every mistake.

     Be patient, I can't control 

          the haunting thoughts in my head.

     I'll be a soldier, standing tall.

          Yessir, I'll improve.

     I'll be the best.

Far Away

I can't keep on running away,

from the mistakes that haunt us both.

I wish we could go back

and change the past.

But life would be all too easy

if that was the case.

I just want you to be that man again.

Tell me you'd go to hell and back

just to hold my hand.

Sometimes that four letter word

just causes too much damage.

Mend me up, hold me high.

Lean out a window for the

air that keeps us grounded.

Blow out the candles, watch the

fire spread over the velvet.

Everything will be gone in a flash,

just like our lost love.

The buildings burning too fast,

save yourself, leave me behind.

It's not worth the effort to

save me from your intentions.

You burned me long before

the flames touched my skin.